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This turned out pretty much exactly how I wanted it.

And check out dat ass.

This has also been declared some of my quote-unquote "gayer" work. But I think we all know professional wrestling is the least gay sport on the planet. Unless it's Greco-Roman. Then absolutely.

That's Some Pineapple.

So Long and McQuade has been going through quite the time. Four stores, not enough business to go around for everyone, not enough employees to keep up with the demand there is. I want to draw something that'll keep morale up. That'll inspire the workers on for another day. I show up with a Keep Calm and Carry On kind of idea.

I walk in.

There's already writing on the board.

They want to keep the writing.

I say eff it and draw a Hawaii theme. And just look at that pineapple.

And I don't know why but Ukelele's keep appearing in my work. See next month for another example...

They're Magically Delish-cough-cough-cough

At the end of a hard day's work, it looks like I spilled the remains of a Lucky Charms cereal box on the floor below the chalkboard.

He writes sales tags in the blood of his enemies . . .

RONGOOOOOOO!!!

Japanjapanjapanjapanjapanjapanjapan.

It's inventory month, half price rental day is three weeks away, lots of sales going on , prices getting slashed . . . likah dah samoorai!

Samurai don't get slashed. They do the slashing. Samurai's.

(For those of you who are still unsure, Rongo Mikyado is Long and McQuade yelled at the top of your lungs in a Japanese accent. I'm trying to keep a vague sense of racism with this series.)

As for the koi on his gi, and considering the five hours worth of work I put into this one, I think it's unacceptable, but you can't really see how crappy a job I did on it with the picture like it is.

Anyway, ja mata, and until next month, here's a joke!

Looks Like This Problem Is All Wrapped Up

The first summer I worked at Long and McQuade, we used to have a bin where we threw everyone's unwrapped cables to wrap later. Of course eventually we started getting backlogged, and the pile eventually was taller than me. That's not saying a ton, but still.

The cable monster is a cross of inspirations, primarily between Tetsuo of Akira and Snit from YTV. The hero is inspired by every customer that came in with their cables professionally wrapped. Even the women.

Special appearance by Karl Sharpe in the mouth of the cable monster. As well as Jay Higgs's arm and leg.

Tune in for more. Same chalk board. Same chalk channel.

On the Twelff Shopping Day of Christmas . . .

Nobody say blackface!

. . . . alright. Moving on.

Coming late (8 days before Christmas as per the blackboard counter) is the super vomit of non-denominational Holiday Characters. I wasn't paid anything by Crazy-Sale-Sal's people, despite the glowing advertisement. And Osamu Tezuka offered a nice take on Santa. And this is what Osamu would look like if he was a mountain. The New Year's Babby is just babby.

Have nice holidays. More Chalk!

And this has nothing to do with chalk, but can someone explain this to me? I found it in my travels.

Tonight I Dine On Good Prices!

So after the horror that was the July drawings, I succumbed to a brief mental lapse and was committed to a mental institution where I ate play-doh most of the day and otherwise slept (eg. my parent's house). It took me this long to repost because I'd lost all the will to draw anything that wouldn't be as good as the last stuff, and I couldn't bring myself to commit to a work that wasn't progressing.

So going back to form—black and white, drawing from an image, bad puns—I came up with this. And I'm damn happy with it, not because it was necessarily taxing, but because the Shredder is awesome, ESPECIALLY the original Shredder, none of this purple-cape-technodrome-whiny garbage.

(If you haven't already seen it, TMNT Forever is an animated movie that recently came out where the turtles from this generation of shows crosses dimensions with the 80's cartoon turtles. Hilarity ensues. Download it now.)

Here's to another year of taking a day off school to spend 5 hours on a chalk drawing for a blog nobody reads!